What If Your Blessing Is Hidden Inside The Success Of Someone You Keep Hating On?

In an era of virtual spell checks, quickly being able to check Google for needed information, and posting pictures on social media and receiving instant feedback, it's safe to say that our society suffers from an "instant gratification" complex. The progression of technology and societal advancements have decreased wait times and expedited results! Social media allows us to connect with others and engage instantaneously and the Internet allows us to collect information in real time with minimal effort.  

We are conditioned to want information fast and get results even faster! Unfortunately, some of the most fundamental and even most gratifying parts of life can not be fast tracked. For example, there is no phone app that will get you a college degree or a virtual coupon to pay off your student loans. You can post as many selfies on Instagram as you want to alert your followers of your physical beauty but you can't filter your integrity or post a photo your trustworthiness. You can't Google your way into the NFL or WNBA, and you can't spell check your way through personal trials and tribulations. Despite society's progressions, some things just take good old fashion patience and hard work. 

Now, I keep my ear to the proverbial "streets" just enough to stay connected and aware of the things going on in my community but not enough to hear all the things that are said about me. Of course, I have plenty of people who do catch that information and without provocation, have zero problem coming and telling me the things others have said about me. Hehe! So, to give you a little context, since early 2015 I've really began to come into my own in regards to my PURPOSE in life. After years of trying to figure things out and build a foundation, I finally began seeing some fruits of all the labor I had put in for years. Garnered recognition for my musical endeavors, started my own youth nonprofit, collected several awards for the work we've done in the community, started my own business, traveled the country as a youth motivational speaker, and even got a gig at the University of Kentucky to teach a class, aptly titled, "Lyricism & Leadership". The local media here in Lexington, KY has been kind in it's coverage and has helped increase my brand so that I could help more people and engage more youth. But of course, I couldn't have achieved all of this through hard work. No, no, no! There must be some cheat code that swindled my way into, right? 

"Just because he's on the news all the time, doesn't mean he's the only one doing something!" "The only reason he got that class at UK is because of his relationship with Dr. Cleveland (who doesn't even have an affiliation with UK)!" "Girl, how is working in the school system without a college degree???" "Why does Devine always get to open up for big artists in the city?! I bet he pays them so he can perform." "All he does is play on social media all day!" "I bet you he don't be using all them donations to his nonprofit for coats! I bet he paying his rent with them donations!" "They only give those awards to Devine because he panders in front of the camera all the time!" 

These are just some of the fallacies that I've heard about myself from volunteer double agents that be coming back and tell me everything people be saying about me. Everyday, I see subliminal posts from my contemporaries trying to rationalize their own shortcomings by minimizing my achievements. Many of these people I previously considered "friends". Obviously, being the emotional creature that I am, I just thought that this was all based in envy and HATE! "They just hating on me because they are unhappy with themselves", and other motivational anecdotes to provide me with understanding and peace. But the more I thought about it and the closer I looked at some of the assumptions people were making, I quickly found out that it's a lot deeper than just envy or hate. Let me preface my revelation by saying that my views are coming from a black man dealing with hate in his own community! Ok, now that the curtains have been pulled back, I'm continue.. I believe part of the problem with people celebrating other people's success is that they can't even conceptualize the amount of work that someone has had to put in, in order to get where they are. It's easier to assume some one's success is predicated on things that are unfair because then it gives you an excuse for why you haven't succeeded. But good old fashion HARD WORK is something ALL of us are capable of but not all of us are willing to put in. And if I'm honest, I'm partly to blame for that because, like many of us, I'm always posting about results, but I'm not posting enough about the process. Not just showing people the "wins", but also showing them all the losses that prepared you for those wins! 

I could talk about the nearly 10 years maxing out my schools notebooks with pages full of rhymes, going to different hoods to battle other rappers to earn my respect, taping over my dad's Motown tapes to record demos, selling CD's out my trunk, traveling to different cities to perform for free, sleeping in my car, spending hours in the library burning copies of my new mixtape and building my fan base and network through MySpace. I could talk about the 6 mixtapes I put out before my 10 studio albums. Not only building my own brand but struggling to provide a platform for other local artists in the process. All while being a single father, paying child support for my other daughter, working two jobs, and hustling to try and make ends meet... All of this, just to build a foundation for the next phase of my purpose which was community activism. 

In 2014 I finally broke through as a motivational speaker and presented to 15  schools in the state of Kentucky... But what you didn't know is that in 2014 I reached out to over 1,500 schools in Kentucky! Of course the pictures of those 15 schools that I spoke to looked real good on social media, but what about the nearly 72 straight hours I spent drafting emails to over 1,500 schools, only for 1,485 of those schools to say NO? Are you prepared for that kind of rejection? From 2010-2014 I was told that I didn't have the education or experience to work in the school system. I could have given up, put I chose to build my resume instead. Are you prepared to spend years working your way into the position that you desire? What about the late night hours of work when your volunteers get to go home to their families while you are up until 2 in the morning organizing over 2,000 coats by size? How about spending 20 hours a day for two weeks loading up trucks for a Flint water drive? Walking 55 miles or even performing 48 hours straight in freezing temperatures to raise awareness for your youth coat drive. Never being able to play in a competitive pick up basketball game again due to frostbite and permanent nerve damage in your right foot. Are you willing to drive 8 hours for a 1 hour speaking engagement and hope right back on the road and drive 8 hours back home to save money? Or the tedious stuff life stuffing envelops to mail out sponsorship or thank you letters. Or calling and emailing every elementary school in an 80 mile radius to pitch a FREE mentoring program for their students. Are you willing to put in 5 years of voluntary work and network your brand into a position to finally start charging for your services? Are you willing to document your work so that you can provide schools and companies with the metrics and results that will make your unique services sustainable for years to come? Are you willing to work a full time job while building your nonprofit or LLC so you can not only pay the bills but make the proper investments in yourself to help you reach your goals? Are willing to invest in professional head shots, sponsored social media posts, or educational workshops that make you better equipped to serve your participants? Are you willing to engage in late nights and early mornings? I lost jobs, a marriage, been in debt, all while building myself back up to be everything I am today.. Are you willing to lose it all, in order to gain so much more? Are you willing to put in over 15 years of work, to finally see a fruit? 

I posted on Facebook the other day, that when we come across a "successful" person, we shouldn't ask them what they did to get where they are, but rather  what they went through. Though at times it may be the case, don't always assume someones achievements came via short cuts or cheat codes. In automatically trivializing some else's ascension, you rob yourself of the blessing of being reminded of what the blueprint to success is. Hard work and perseverance. You can't run from it and you can't hide from it. Nobody wants a microwaved steak or fruit that isn’t ripe! Anything lasting and worth having is going to take a grind to get it and an even harder grind to keep it. 

Devine Carama